The Good Old Days

If you were not around during the good old days, then you have no idea what they were really all about. History books can tell you about facts, but rarely  make you really feel what was happening. I detest hearing someone, especially 40 somethings, and some 50 somethings talk about how the good old days were not all that good. There were things in those days which made us care more about others and their safety. Folks in the good old days respected elders, and others. It seemed safer because we knew our neighbors, and looked out for each other. Despite the racism in the south ( oh, excuse me, it still exists in the hearts of many throughout the country, so it is not a "southern" thing"), I lived my village where I could see the achievements of folks who,looked like me.

In those days, we had authentic conversations when we were actually face to face. We could not hide behind a keyboard, as we can on social media. We knew what to keep, and what to tell. We knew that making mud pies was an authentically rich experience. We played marbles in the dirt, made bottle dolls from sisal rope, and we knew that we did not need material things to make us happy. Relationships with others were what we had--real people, not FB friends we never see.

I am not stuck in the past, and I am as up to date as any elder, however, I cherish the past, and the good old days which made me who I am. I resent any attempt to characterize those days as not so good. What is needed, is a REAL conversation with someone who actually LIVED during those good old days and finding out what you can truly learn from them.

JUST KEEP LIVIN’

It occurs to me that there is a huge chasm between the young and the old.  I have noticed lately that the line is clearly drawn--the old are leary of the young, and the young are leary of the old.  I notice it, particular in one venue I visit each week.  Some of the older people believe that they are being ignored, “pushed out,” and relegated to a “lesser place.

At first, I thought that I wanted to become an “Anti-Ageism Warrior” and actually try to bridge the gap.  I thought about it, talked to people about it, and the answer was always “But you are different” from the other old people."  I do not take that as a compliment.  I know that the gap can be bridged because I have friends in every age group--many younger, and many older.  I cherish, and learn from each group.  I believe that both groups have much they can learn from each other.

When a new young leader emerges, the “elders sometime have a problem.  It reminds me of when our church in Miami “changed” and mother began attending a “break out” church with very young minister

  At mother’s funeral , he talked about how she would tell him when his socks did  not match his suit, or tell him  that she had “shoes older than he was.” She just told him whatever was on her mind, but he treated her with respect, and appreciated the advice she gave him. After all, he was younger than her youngest child. I am not quite sure of how he responded to her  advice, but she was his greatest supporter.

I love being OLD, just as I have liked every age.  I don’t like to be looked upon as some kind of relic without a brain.  When I went to vote early, the lady gave me a paper ballot.  When I went into the room, I saw that there was a computerized ballot.  I returned to the young woman, and asked why she did not tell me that option.  She apologized, but I looked her in the eye and told her “You thought I was OLD, and would not know how to do it."  I informed her that I am probably more computer savvy than she.  I refused to change, and went ahead with the paper ballot, once my point was made.

Just yesterday, someone yelled out to a group of seniors “I hope I look that good when I am y’all’s age. For some reason, that just annoyed me. It implies that you are not supposed to still look good when you are old? I remember every decade of my life, and what I thought I knew during each decade. And now, I am still learning, but I have much more time to be more observant do everything and everyone around me. I say to the 40 and 50 somethings, just keep lovin' and eventually, you will find out that you did not know all that you now think you know. Find, as a friend, or ally, a truth telling old person.