Coming Around

I have a friend in Atlanta who is one of the best story tellers I know. She is a friend of over 50 years and is also among the funniest people I know. She told me a story about when her father was in the hospital and they wanted him to sign the advance directive. He didn't sign it right away, but when he finally decided to do it, he wanted to add a clause which indicated that he wanted them to wait at leat two weeks before pulling any plug, just in case he "came around." Everybody probably needs two weeks to come around, but then, they must know the difference between "turning around" and "coming around." Some expect those around them to come around, as they pretend to be turning around. In life, no one is responsible for turning anyone else around, and no one has to come around, unless, like my friend's father, they choose to do so. "Turning around" is more labor intensive than "Coming around." Some pretend to turn so that others come. Hmmmmm! Oh, clarity!

Sitting at the BIG TABLE

We had an interesting conversation at my Art Group, the Dee Gees, yesterday. The gathering was at my home and as we sat, eating a wonderful shrimp, chicken, and lettuce salad stuffed in pita bread (thanks to my young friends in the Girlfriend's Recipe club I tried this wonderful recipe), we talked about how, when we were little, on holidays and other times, the children were relegated to a small children's table. It never occurred to any of us to ask to be seated at the big table. I also think that is why I still prefer chicken wings, backs, and the rest, because the old folks ate the breasts at the big table. As we discussed this, it occurred to me, that perhaps that is why many in the generation after us seems to have "entitlement issues." They don't expect to ever sit at the "children's table," but believe they should start at the Big Table, without having to do much (grow up), in order to get there. The Big Table feels better and is more enjoyable when we have earned our way there. I love sitting at the Big Table, and I appreciate the lessons learned at the little one. Unearned Big Table seats will send us unwittingly, back to the little table. Sometimes, the little table is nicer--we don't have to think as much. We didn't have to cook in order to sit there. We don't have to engage in enlightening conversation. In fact, little is required of us. It is merely a training table--it is a good place to learn, if we are listening and paying attention to what is going on at the Big Table. I appreciate my little table experience, just as I am now appreciating the well earned Big Table experience, although, sometimes, it is very labor intensive to be the big girl at the big table.