'I'm Not Running, I'm Choosing"

Yesterday I went to see the movie, Pariah, which is about the coming out of a young girl. I read a review of the movie and it was also recommended by a friend. I don't usually like to attend movies other than those before noon, but because I'm afraid it won't be around long, I went to the 2:15 show at the local theater.

Audre Lorde's poetry resonated throughout the entire movie through the reading of the main character. Now I know why my friend was anxious to find some of Lorde's poems.

There were several things which were interesting to me. First of all, it was an all Black cast (I was happy about the cast because the subject is something which is not discussed enough in our culture) and the main character's name was Alike, a very unusual name. The name was important to me because although it may be African in origin, it also is a symbol of how alike we all are--straight or gay.

Alike was a tomboyish looking girl with a domineering, religious mother and a supporting father, although I think he was cheating on his wife. Perhaps he felt as trapped by the mother as Alike did. Interestingly enough, Alike was not seduced by her very good friend, but by the church girl approved by her mother. She was my least favorite character because she did not want to admit who she really was--she ran and did not choose. It reminded me of so many girls I knew in that age group who also felt the need to run and not choose. I am not sure if that is part of the "coming out" process--I'll have to ask somebody about that.

There was only one thing which absolutely shocked me in the movie, but I decline to add it here, suffice it to say, it involved something which had to be purchased.

I was impressed by Alike's love for her mother, although her mother, clutching her bible, could not find the words to tell her daughter that she loved her. It made me think about the suicide rate in this young population and the angst they live with on a daily basis. I was impressed by the love her younger sister had for her, even though they were complete opposites.

As I sat through this film with about ten other people in the theater, I was further convinced that we all have to be respectful of each other. We must love one another and not expect everyone to live the same lifestyle that we live. Alike, with her strength and brilliance, was able to move on. I liked the movie's ending because it gave me hope that the mother would eventually come around--I was glad that it wasn't all wrapped up in a neat little package.

I have someone to whom I am recommending this movie. As she deals with seeing acceptance from everyone, she needs to know that she cannot expect everyone to necessarily say YAAY, but she has to stand tall, just as Alike did, and be who she is.

Soul

Sister Mary is a nun and a member of my sumi-e class. She had not been in class for a very long time and many of us wondered what happened to her. Quite unexpectedly, she visited the class last Friday along with two other nuns. They didn't look like the nuns of old, and were wearing cool tennis shoes and sequined baseball caps.

Sis Mary was wearing a small brace around her fragile body and told us that she fell and was in rehab for a few weeks. She then told us that she was going to the "Mother's home" near Louisville, Kentucky. The other two nuns will accompany her on the flight and assured us that she will be well taken care of. I imagine that must be a home for "old nuns." Anyway, the class was very emotional because Sister Mary had been quite inspirational to all of us. When I joined the class she was 90. I was shocked one day when I saw her driving and parking. She wasn't the best artist,(who am I to talk) but seemed to get such joy from each class. We all had great affection for her spirit (She will be 94 tomorrow).

As she began to tell us why she just had to come to bid us farewell, she said that Sumi-e was her soul! That statement just struck me as extremely profound. Another member of the class said "She really got it." It made me wonder about what my soul is. I know that Tony ranks #1 (I am excluding the obvious spiritual component), primary family, extended family, Miami, true friends (shortened list),and all of the things which give me joy. We all need to think about our soul--what is it? I, too, include Sumi-e because that" yoga art for the mind" is almost as meditative as a prayer.