Chin Up?

It was difficult for me to decide what to call this blog so I will write it and name it when I finish. This week, one of my best friends visited us. She had just lost her 51 year old daughter whose birthday is the day before mine. It just came, no warning, no underlying medical condition. Just happened.

After dropping her off for her trip home, I stopped by the hospital to visit a former student. Many FSF's (former student friends) were sending me Facebook messages and emails suggesting that I should go see her. Although I had not seen her in many years, I went. He eyes lit up when I entered the room (she is around 50 something). She was unable to talk and had to write everything on a white board. She wrote to me and then I took the board and began writing. She grabbed the board from me and told me that I could talk and she could hear. That bit of levity broke the ice. She, a law school graduate, began to write telling me about her ordeal.

It started as a sore throat--doctor told her that it was probably from an infected tooth. Dentist refused to treat her and sent her back to her regular doctor. She decided to go the ER because she had been sleeping a lot and felt drained of energy. Found out that she had a cancerous tumor which has spread to the large artery in her heart. She told me that she has told her 84 year old father that she is ready to make her final arrangements. Another irony, her sister has stage 4 colon cancer and is just a couple of years younger than she.

These events remind me of the fragility and randomness of life. It reminds me that we control nothing. It reminds me to be grateful for health and for each day. It reminds me that we need something to hold on to and I'm glad I have that. It reminds me that friends can be comforting. Even though I had not seen her for years, it was as if I had just seen her the week before. The last thing she wrote on the board was "Congratulations on your new addition." In the midst of all that she was experiencing, she still thought about saying something kind to me.

As I left, I just asked her to be hopeful and to keep her chin up. Chin up? How shallow? It was all I could muster before I rushed to the elevator to meet my husband who sat in the lobby waiting for me. I was down during the drive home as I again considered what my great-grandmother used to say "Sometimes it seems that life is just like a piece of toilet paper." I'm not sure what that means, but it seems to apply.