I was with a group last night and I heard the phrase "Side to Side or Face to Face." It occurred to me that these two postures are what can make or break all kinds of relationships.
Relationships should be built upon communication. Side to Side communication does not involve actually looking at the person or engaging in heart-felt communication. It is a very easy route--just sit side by side and conversation is easy. If you are talking to a spouse, it is real easy to have superficial, meaningless conversation when you are side to side. The very posture somehow takes away the personal element of the encounter.
A friend told me many years ago that when she disciplined her children, she always made sure that they were looking her in the eye (she found out later that they were looking at their reflections in her classes). She felt that if they looked directly at her, she was more likely to get the truth. I hadn't thought about that in a long time, but was reminded of her insight last night.
A "side to side" relationship does not appear to have the same level of sincerity as one which is "face to face." Of course, the trick is that some people can be "side to side" as they are "face to face," but that is another story.
Look at how you relate to others. Are you a "side to sider" or a "face to facer?"
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1 comment:
I have always been a Face to Face person. I can relate to your friend and having my son look me in the eye when I was speaking to him concerning a serious matter (he was probably looking at his reflection from my glasses also). I always felt that looking Face to Face conveyed that you had that person's attention whether they liked it or not. Plus, being from the south looking at a person Face to Face was not on option. I was mandatory for your good health. :)
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